Book Review: I'm Perfect, You're Doomed

I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed by Kyria Abrahams

(Note: I too was once one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. My review, therefore, examines comparisons between Ms. Abrahams’ experience and mine at times.)

For many people, the religion they belong too has everything to do with their parents. Many people are Catholic simply because their parents were Catholic. In Kyria Abraham’s memoir I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed, she reflects on her life as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. The bulk of the book concerns her childhood and teen years.

While telling the story of her life, she introduces us to a variety of colorful characters. Some of them are funny, others tragic, and a few are bizarre. I have to wonder if there is a factory in Brooklyn where they produce these odd characters. So many of her experiences with individuals at the Kingdom Hall reminded me of my time in Taunton, Massachusetts. Apparently every single Kingdom Hall has a single twenty-something pioneer named Lisa.

Her childhood is filled with all of the challenges that Jehovah’s Witness children must deal with, the alienation from other kids in school. Witness children are told this is good: a sign that they are pleasing Jehovah. She mentions the constant pressure to please a God who is constantly looking for a reason for failure. Jehovah is like Santa Claus, except if he finds you naughty, for any reason, you will be executed at Armageddon (she never says this, I’m just ranting. It was just a thought as I read her book.). Her other childhood experiences revolved around the superstitions that Witnesses embrace (while claiming to not be superstitious). The greatest example of this is the Smurf incident. I will not spoil this for you. However, the hysteria over the most ridiculous rumor ever heard was indeed a real event. Throughout the book, she writes from the perspective of someone who thought that the end of the world was in the near future. It was the religion of her parents, so it had to be “the truth.”

As she becomes involved with Alan, her future husband, the story takes a dark turn. It is obvious to the reader, and the writer, that this sixteen year old girl was not ready for the stress of marriage. The marriage was an unhappy one. Sadly, this is not uncommon in this religion. She soon found herself in an unhealthy relationship where her needs were viewed as secondary to her husband’s. As she grew more miserable, she made some life-changing decisions. Really her initiation story begins with the choices she makes in this section of the narrative.

Some readers of the book have mentioned that the story ends on an unresolved note. Life is rarely resolved neatly. What do readers expect? That she leave, find the man of her dreams, a dream job, and God sitting her down and telling her the meaning of life?

This book differs greatly from other ex-Jehovah’s Witness books. While there are many that discuss the reasons a person left the religion, they are usually tied into the Watchtower doctrines or failed prophecies. Many of those books have value. However, all Abrahams has done with her book is tell her story. It happens to revolve around her childhood religion. She is also very honest in her portrayal of her younger self. She presents young Kyria as a bit of a self-serving brat. Even if she was not raised a Witness, many of her problems would have existed. However, her beliefs shaped the way those issues played out in her life. The book is about her life. It is not an attempt to take down the Watchtower.

Some Witnesses have claimed that the mistakes she makes toward the end of the book prove that she was wrong to leave. I cannot see how that is the case. She makes some mistakes, but that is what life is about. Would she have been happier if she stayed in an unloving marriage while her individuality was being choked out of her?

I know a little about Kyria now and her life looks like it is going well. She has published a book, writes and seems to be enjoying life. Perhaps she will follow up I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed with a book about her adventures in New York.

At times the book is very funny. At other times it is tragic. For a person who knows nothing about the Witnesses, it is still a fascinating story of initiation. For those who were once Witnesses, it is an encouraging, yet occasionally heartbreaking reminder of why we left.

Copyright 2009 Paul George